From “The Truth” to a Presence: my journey out of Fundamentalism towards more progressive, contextual Christianity

By Jen Galicinski

Originally written for Prof. Mary Jo Leddy for Doing Theology in a Canadian Context at Regis College, Toronto School of Theology, University of Toronto, Fall 2018

12 min read

Having been raised in various conservative, fundamentalist and evangelical protestant churches, I had always been taught that theology was the study of “timeless, universal Truth of God”. The source of this “Truth” was the Bible. The job of theologians, pastors, and lay Christians was to learn this “Truth”, taught to us by past theologians who valued the Bible as the inerrant Word of God, and to simply transmit them to people around us.

This often terrified me as a young person, often because I didn’t fully understand or resonate with the “timeless Truth” myself, and nobody around me seemed to take a liking to the version of the gospel I was taught – that “all people are sinners bound for hell, unless they believe in Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour.”

I found myself anxiously trying to convince my non-Christian friends of this “gospel” even though, deep down, I didn’t fully see it as “good news” either. In addition, these churches were not at all engaged in the wider community or concerned themselves with anything political. About ten years ago, my faith journey led me to join more liberal, progressive protestant faith communities, whose gospel resonated more deeply with me. The focus on solidarity with the victimized and activism for the poor, being incarnational in our communities, incorporating the arts in life and worship, and humbling approaching the sacred text of Scriptures as a Mystery to be adored, rather than “universal Truth” to access, deeply spoke to me, and made more sense as “good news” to those around me.  

The readings and lectures in Mary Jo Leddy’s class Doing Theology in a Canadian Context at Regis College have helped me to make more sense of my upbringing, and have helped me to put words to my dissonance with that particular approach to theology, and why I resonate so much more with an contextual approach that deeply listens to the particular social anxieties, questions, and issues of our time and place in 21st century Canada.

This is important because, as Mary Jo Leddy said in our first lecture, we are called to “preach the gospel in a way that is heard, attended, and obeyed.”[i]  Great harm can and has been done by Christians misreading the times, including preaching a “gospel” that is not heard as good news, like the one I grew up with. I agree with Leddy that we are called “to become followers of Christ in this time and place, with the REAL burdens and blessings.”[ii]

The theologians heard from in our readings and lectures have named various problems with theology that claims to be “timeless” (mostly Hall, Schreiter, and Leddy). I will briefly summarize these problems below. Next, these theologians have sought to describe the importance of contextual theology and describe it using various metaphors and models. It is a way of doing theology that is primarily about deep listening and discerning what is the appropriate word for here and now based on the “animating questions” of our time (Hall, Schreiter, Leddy).

This requires immersive participation in the context and engagement and struggle in discerning the gospel’s answer to the animating questions and anxieties (Tillich, Hall, Leddy). It is helpful to understand it as the meeting of God’s story with our human story (Hall). Then, I will summarize some of the named dangers of contextual theology: falling into relativism and being swept away by changing fads and whims of our times (Hall). And lastly, I will outline Hall and Leddy’s suggested guidelines for how disciple communities can discern the context of here and now.

Prior to the rise of contextual theology in the 1970s, much of academic Christian theology has sought to be “universal in scope”[iii] and has had a “reputation for timelessness.”[iv] Many theologians thought of their work as searching for the “great facts about man, the world, and God”[v] and then simply transmitting it to the people of their time using more contemporary language. There are many problems with this approach that I will briefly address, though there are many philosophical nuances that I will not be able to discuss in depth here.  

First, as Hall writes, “Christian theology is contextual by definition”, and there “no human undertaking ever occurs in a cultural vacuum, a historical no-man’s-land.”[vi] The theological claim to objectivity was itself rooted in the Cartesian method, and was a product of its particular Enlightenment context.[vii] All theology mirrors its context, whether it is aware of this or not.[viii] Hall argues

there is no eternal “text”— no theologia in se (ideal theology as distinct from actual theological work) which is our duty as Christians to interpret for our context, no abiding ‘content’ that permits itself to be shaped, reshaped, and perhaps inevitably misshapen in response to the molds that time provides. There are only historical testimonies to a Presence, to events in which this Presence was experience as being very near (‘with us’), and to utterances which helped and still help to locate and illuminate the mystery of which this Presence is the center.[ix]

This Presence is still being experience here and now, and we are to record our own testimonies of this mystery, which will and should surely reflect our own context.

Another significant problem with the idea of “universal truths” is that “they did not reach far enough.”[x] Schreiter writes that “they did not take up the issues that were the most pressing in many local circumstances: the burden of poverty and oppression, the struggle to create a new identity after a colonial past, or the question of how to meet the challenge of modernization.”[xi] The universal theologies were consumed with other questions and concerns, and as such “the universal theology turned out to be less than universal.”[xii] The subject of our faith, the incarnational dwelling of God amongst real people with real struggles, must also inform our method of doing theology today, and thus our gospel must address these real concerns.

Some great theological work has been done by theologians who addressed the real concerns of their time and place. Anselm, for example, as described by Hall, “spoke to an age whose primary anxiety was that of guilt and the fear of eternal punishment.”[xiii] However, these social anxieties are quite different from those of North America in the 21st century.

Paul Tillich says our anxiety is much closer to “the anxiety of meaninglessness and despair” than to guilt before God.[xiv] So our theology must reflect these differences, or the gospel we communicate will not resonate with the people in our midst. We can learn from these past theologians, as long as we know that “it was not their vocation to have done our theological work for us.”[xv]

By claiming universality, theology that does not acknowledge context represents, as Hall says, “a dangerous flight from our own present moment.”[xvi] When theology is unaware of its context, or does not engage with the local human situation, “it carries with it assumptions about the human situation which are either not concretely accurate or (as has frequently happened) are quite patently false.” It is then that it “it functions…as ideology.”[xvii] We must avoid this by intentionally engaging with the questions, anxieties, and fears of our particular time and place.

What exactly is contextual theology? There is no one definition that is all-encompassing and agreed upon. What we have instead is a number of metaphors and descriptions that can help us understand it better. First, as Clemens Sedmak writes, contextual theology is an “invitation to wake up: to be mindful and attentive” and it is always “done locally” like a “local village cook using local ingredients.”[xviii]

It is about deeply listening to and discerning what is the defining “concern” of our culture (Northrop Fyre) or “animating question” (Albert Nolan) of our own time and place. We do this best, as Douglas Hall and Paul Tillich suggest, by being immersed in and participating in our context.[xix] “Where there is no participation there is no communication,”[xx] Tillich writes. We must not simply study what is happening, but struggle with it and for it. Hall points out that “if Martin Luther had not been compelled to experience at first hand the terrible anxiety that gripped his age – the anxiety of an almost inescapable judgement by an almost implacable God – he would never have discovered the gospel of “justification by grace through faith.”[xxi]

This is essential because, as Hall writes, “the Christian church throughout the ages has not distinguished itself by the appropriateness or good timing of its proclamation”.[xxii] It has often gone into foreign cultures, like Asia, with “’glad tidings’ fashioned in the English countryside, and it has offered 16th-century doctrines of salvation for 20th-century sinners”.[xxiii] 

This is important because “a theology which does not help the church to discern…the appropriate word…inevitably functions as an ideational construct within which Christian may find refuge from history, and which therefore lends itself to the support of the status quo.”[xxiv] Paul Tillich’s method of correlation, that is finding the questions of our culture and seeking the answer offered by a fresh view of the gospel, and Leddy’s adaption of the correlation of images – of the culture and the Scriptures[xxv] – are helpful for discerning how the gospel can be heard as good news here and now, rather be used to further the status quo — the oppressive power structures– of our time and place.

It is also helpful to think of contextual theology as “the Meeting of Stories”, as Hall suggests.[xxvi] The metaphor of story is especially helpful and rooted in the language of the Scriptures, as we find in them not dogmas or lists of philosophical theorums but narrative and saga.[xxvii] At the same time, “humanity is telling its own stories”, and they can be very different at different times and places.[xxviii] Sometimes, as Hall writes, humanity depicts itself like Prometheus, and sometimes like Willy Loman. “Theology lives between the stories – God’s story of the world, and humanity’s ever-changing account of itself and all things. Theology is what happens when the two stories meet.”[xxix]

These stories are not fixed or finished, though, but rather are “ongoing” and “on-the-move”, distinctive in different times and place, and God’s stories responds differently to different characters.[xxx] “Jesus had something quite different to say to John the beloved disciple from what he had to say to the impulsive and demanding Peter.”[xxxi] In the same way:

A theology which continues addressing itself to 19th-century industrial Prometheanism long after Western humanity has cast itself more characteristically in the role of Willy Loman is not only anachronistic; it isn’t theology! A theology which offers tried and true remedies for the human anxiety of guilt and condemnation when the regnant anxiety is the anxiety of meaninglessness and despair is no theology; it is probably ideology.[xxxii]

These strong words of warning and guidance are a helpful reminder to pay close attention to how God’s story is meeting with and responding to the current, local, story that humanity is telling about itself. The danger of contextual theology, as Hall writes, is that it will fall into relativism, if it is too focussed on the particular current context and finds itself “capture of currents and ever-changing trends within its host society.”[xxxiii] This is why it is important to note that contextuality is to be a “dialogue” between the current moment, the Christian past, and the disciple community. It is not to approve of the dominant values or whole heartedly disapprove, but simply focus on the engagement of society. [xxxiv]

We are to follow the example of Jesus, as Clemens Sedmak says, who was simultaneously “rooted in the religious traditions of his time and place” and was “challenging local cultural standards and raising a universal claim.”[xxxv]

Likewise, the disciple community is not to focus solely on what is new and current, but instead “implies a continuing dialogue with the tradition.” This is quite different from traditionalism, which upholds dogma at all costs, but instead involves: a continuous wrestling with the past, a struggle born, not of the need to escape from the complex realities of the here and now, nor yet of the attempt to avoid the risks of confession, but simple of the need for help. It is still the present, with its often strident demands and uncertainties, which sets the tone for our visitation of the past.[xxxvi]

The present moment, then, is not to dictate our prime concerns and full attention, but it is a starting point for tapping into the wealth of wisdom and spiritual resources that are to be found in the past as discerned by the disciple community.

Another concern Hall discusses that will likely be of particular importance for the fundamentalist and evangelical communities that I was raised in, is what the Reformation teaching of Sola Scriptura has to say about contextual theology. I can imagine many saying, as Hall points out that “the context itself contributes nothing to the message” and that “no doubt it is always necessary to ‘translate’ the Bible…but this is strictly a concern for the transmission of the biblical message, not a quest for its meaning as such”.[xxxvii]

It is first important to note that the Reformer Calvin himself never affirmed the literal inspiration of the Scriptures, for he said “the word we possess in the Scriptures is a mirror which reflects something, but does not impart to us the thing itself. The Scripture itself is ‘an instrument by which the Lord dispense the illumination of the Spirit to the faithful’ but not to be identified with the Lord himself.”[xxxviii] Likewise, Luther, though insistent upon the centrality of the Scriptures in theology, thought that:

the substance of belief…is not that the Bible is true, but rather that towards which the Bible points us is true…It is the spirit and not the letter of the text that we must hear, and this hearing can take place only if we, in all the explicitness of our personal existences, are caused by the Spirit to do so. Thus the situation of the hearer or the hearing community is a central dimension of Luther’s concept of scriptural authority – the existential context and the biblical text are not separable, rather, in the process of faithful theological exegesis of the Scriptures, text and context are made to encounter each other.[xxxix]

Thus, Luther believed that “the singular authority of the Bible for theology does not exclude contextual reflection, but that it positively requires it…Scriptural understanding presupposes that it is the heightened awareness of our context that gives to the text, under the impact of the Holy spirit, its power and wisdom.”[xl]  Even the theologian who introduced Sola Scriptura believed that being firmly rooted in the context and being aware of the social anxieties of his time and place was essential for understanding how the Spirit was address these anxieties with an appropriate word of good news.

How then are we to discern what our context is? Douglas Hall and Mary Jo Leddy give several helpful guidelines for how to “name” a context. First, we are to listen to the “testimony of the victims”[xli] or as Leddy puts it the “authority of those who suffer.”[xlii] Liberation theologians have pointed out that “the God of the tradition of Jerusalem has “a preferential option for the poor.[xliii]

Second, it will be important to listen to the “insider/outsider” – those who are contemplatives or those who have lived outside of our context for a while and can see it with fresh eyes, such as missionaries.[xliv]

Third, we must listen to the artists in our society who are gifted in “naming what is not yet known” – poets, musicians, writers, film-makers have unique insights we can benefits from.[xlv]

Fourth, we should adhere to the words of our society’s “thinkers” including “storytellers (history), critical analysts (sociologists, political scientists, and economists.)”

Fifth and sixth, the text of the Scriptures and the “normative wisdom of the churches (tradition, teachings, wisdom of the saints and martyrs)”.[xlvi] Or as helpfully Hall asks, “How do the pursuits and values of our society compare with the images of the human in our authoritive sources?”[xlvii] And seventh, we should not only listen to our local Christian faith communities, but to “the wisdom of the churches throughout the world, and other faiths.”[xlviii]

I look forward to attempting to paying attention to all these voices, and fleshing out what doing contextual theology looks like here in 21st century Canada in the few next papers of this class.

(Stay tuned for future blog posts.)


[i] Mary Jo Leddy, Lecture 1, “Doing Theology in the Canadian Context”, Regis College, Sept 14, 2017.

[ii] Ibid.

[iii] Robert J. Schreiter, The New Catholicity: Theology Between the Global and the Local (Mary Knoll, NY, Orbis Books, 1997), p. 1.

[iv] Douglas John Hall, “The Meaning of Contextuality in Christian Thought”, Thinking the Faith: Christian Theology in a North American Context (Minneapolis, MN, Augsberg Fortess, 1989),

p. 69.

[v] Lord Bishop of Durham as quoted in Hall, p. 70.

[vi] Hall, 69, 93.

[vii] Schreiter, 2-3.

[viii] Hall, 76.

[ix] Hall 85-86.

[x] Schreiter, 1.

[xi] Ibid.

[xii] Ibid.

[xiii] As quoted in Hall, 98.

[xiv] Hall, 97.

[xv] Ibid.

[xvi] Hall 77.

[xix] Hall, 81.

[xx] Tillich as quoted in Hall, 81.

[xxi] Hall, 82.

[xxii] Hall, 83.

[xxiii] Ibid.

[xxiv] Hall, 84.

[xxv] Clemens Sedmak, “Fifty Theses for Doing Local Theology”, Doing Local Theology: A Guide for Artisans of a New Humanity (Mary Knoll, NY, Orbis, 2003), p. 162.

[xxvi] Hall, 89.

[xxvii] Hall, 90.

[xxviii] Ibid

[xxix] Hall, 91.

[xxx] Hall, 101.

[xxxi] Hall, 92.

[xxxii] Ibid.

[xxxiii] Hall, 111.

[xxxiv] Hall, 115.

[xxxv] Sedmak, 163.

[xxxvi] Hall, 117.

[xxxvii] Hall, 118-119.

[xxxviii] Hall, 119.

[xxxix] Hall, 120.

[xl] Hall, 122.

[xli] Hall, 134.

[xlii] Leddy, Lecture 1.

[xliii] Hall, 134.

[xliv] Leddy, Lecture 1.

[xlv] Ibid.

[xlvi] Ibid.

[xlvii] Hall, 134.

[xlviii] Leddy, Lecture 1.

My recovery from Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) through DBT, working in a mindful eating café, and centering prayer by a river

In February of 2019, during one of the darkest seasons of my life, I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) and Complex Trauma, or c-PTSD.

This was crushing, but also validating and made sense of my entire life.

I thought my life and vocation was over at first after the diagnoses. But it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me.

I was able to get referred to a free Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills course at the University of Toronto Health and Wellness Centre. I hired a private DBT Therapist who helped me process the skills and kept me accountable for practicing them daily and tracking my moods.

I did a lot of reading and research. I learned that EUPD is developed over time as a response to Complex Trauma, or c-PTSD, which I was also diagnosed with.

Childhood abuse, bullying, and multiple bad breakups (with friends and partners) left me traumatized again and again and again.

But practicing the many DBT skills, and living with my very supportive parents, a 3 month extension on all my assignments, and working part-time at the most beautiful and heartwarming cafe, the Lazy Tulip Cafe, with the best staff and clientele EVER, lots of walks in the woods with Bailey, binging shows with vast emotional depth like The Politician, and doing regular Centering Prayer by a river, I slowly began to improve.

I was able to be more mindful and present with people in the moment. I learned Radical Acceptance. I learned distress tolerance and coping skills. I learned Interpersonal Effectiveness.

After 7 months of this intensive therapy, I am now very happy to say that I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for EUPD. My relationships have improved. I am more happy and calm and able to cope with difficult emotions and events.

Marsha Linehan, the creator of DBT saved my life. I thank God for her everyday.

If you or someone you know might have EUPD, share this with them. Change is possible, recovery is possible. Redemption and Healing is possible.

If I have ever hurt you with my unhealthy coping mechanisms before, I am sorry. Please DM me and let’s talk.

If healing and recovery and redemption happened for me, it can happen for you. No feeling is final.

The future can be bright.

The Damascus Carol: What Really Happened to St. Paul during that Flash of Light (it gets weird)

This was written for my “Who was Jesus?” class at the Toronto School of Theology, an Anglican seminary where I’m studying to be a priest. The assignment was to write a fictional story about Jesus based on what we know of him from a New Testament booking of our choosing (not a Gospel). Because I like to torture myself, I chose Romans. It would be helpful to have knowledge of Paul’s letter Romans. A lot of this is based on Romans Disarmed: Resisting Empire, Demanding Justice by Sylvia Keesmaat and Brian Walsh. Insane task, and it got crazy fast. (9 min read)

“They deserve death,” said Saul to the Roman soldier, “and THAT is why we are going to Damascus today. There is a group that meets in a freed Jewish slave’s home tomorrow night. Rumours are there will also be Gentiles there too, with other Jewish traitors, eating what they believe is the ACTUAL body of Jesus, who they are calling Lord and Messiah. Cannibalism and blasphemy!”

The Roman soldier straightens and nods, and turns to gather the supplies they will need for the long journey ahead.

“We leave immediately,” says Saul. “Bring with you several other Roman guards. We want to put the fear of Adonai in them.”

Continue reading ‘The Damascus Carol: What Really Happened to St. Paul during that Flash of Light (it gets weird)’

God Doesn’t Promise Us a Rose Garden (But Flowers Will Bloom Through the Cracks)

Being woke is exhausting.

As a sexual assault survivor, who also suffers from chronic insomnia, the online debates this week about Aziz Ansari’s alleged sexual assault felt particularly depleting.

It’s exhausting to endure misogyny, sexism, and disrespect on a daily basis. It’s exhausting to take on the emotional labour of educating those in power about their privilege.

It’s exhausting to be re-traumatized every time you find out that another seemingly woke person you looked up to is really just another man who does not respect women or understand consent.

It’s exhausting to have to explain to people who just don’t get it, why them defending this man hurts you.

Continue reading ‘God Doesn’t Promise Us a Rose Garden (But Flowers Will Bloom Through the Cracks)’

Life, Death, Resurrection, Hope: An Epiphany Reflection for Broken Hearts

“Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you and his glory will appear over you.” (Isaiah 60:1-2)

Change is hard.

Not to mention disorienting, sad and fearful. So often in life we think we some things are unquestionably constant, and certain, and it never even occurs to us that it can be different than they are, and then a piece of news can hit you, seemingly out of nowhere, like a bus, and suddenly, the world seems different and you don’t recognize your life anymore, and so you might as well go dye your hair purple! If you can’t fight it, might as well embrace it with something that makes you inexplicably happy, right? [I had dyed my hair lilac purple]

This is literally what happened to me over the Christmas break. So, I am no stranger to these feelings. About a week before Christmas, a relationship that was very significant to me, and that I was very grateful for, and certain it was heading in a particular direction, suddenly ended. I did not see it coming, and was in shock, and was instantly propelled into a very deep and devastatingly painful place of darkness.

And in that darkness I had a choice to make. I could do what I have done in the past in moments of relational grief, which was stay in bed for a week with a tub of ice cream and a bottle of wine, re-watching Love Actually a million times, or, I could do what I’ve done at other times and become bitter and angry and write very nasty emails to this person and rant to my friends about what a horrible person this is.

Believe me, these are the things that I wanted to do, but I know from experience that those choices for me, only makes things worse. I’ve heard it said that in moments of pain, you can turn bitter or better. And if you turn bitter, you are wasting the pain. So, I decided this time, not to waste the pain. But to face it, and sit in it, and allow Jesus to carry me through it, and give my friends and family the opportunity to love and care for me, in a way that they did and has brought us closer together.

So this time, I followed the path that the Magi took, towards the Light, which always leads to God’s Very Real Presence, to God With Us, otherwise known as the baby Jesus.

So, at the advice of our dear Curate Philip Josseyln-Hamilton, I went to Saint John the Divine’s convent, for prayer, reflection, and to meet with a Sister, a nun, for spiritual direction and guidance. (OK actually, I spent ONE day in bed with Netflix and icecream, but THEN I got outta bed!)

The convent was a very nourishing and healing experience. The Sister looked into my eyes and said to me gently, “I know this is hard, and you are confused and scared and angry, but you won’t always feel this way. Everything will be ok. God loves you so dearly. And God is closer to you than the tears on your check. Let him carry you now, imagine him holding you in his warm and loving embrace.”

This was very helpful, but in my grief I said, “But I want to know why. I am so confused. Why would he do this? And maybe it’s my fault?”

And she said, “There will come a time when it will be helpful to ask those questions, and see what it is you can learn. But now is not that time. Now is the time to allow Jesus to embrace you, and take comfort in his whisper, “Everything will be ok. I love you.”

And this I did. Every time since then I felt the urge to question, or to analyze, or to rage, I simply returned to the image of Jesus holding me, telling me, “I love you. Everything will be ok.

And then she said to remember the second greatest commandment, which is to continue to get out of yourself, and love thy neighbor as yourself. And so, she said, at this time of year, which so much need and pain, who can you serve and love?

So I called my friend at Romero House, the refugee welcoming community in the West End of Toronto, and asked if they had any practical needs I could meet. They did. And so my parents and I decided to forego the stocking stuffers this year and pool our money into buying 17 pairs of winter boots, snow pants, and mittens for newly arrived refugee children. So we went on a Value Village splurge, which was very fun and awesome especially because I racked up lots of VV points so I got 30% off!

It was absolute elation to shop for these, and to tell the staff at VV who they were for, and then to deliver it to the kids. And scientific studies have confirmed this truth, one secret of those who are happy is they volunteer. They help people who have been hurt in similar ways to them, and by giving, you receive so much more in return.

I decided the next day to make my mother’s birthday the best one that she’s had, so I planned a surprise for her. And the next day I offered to fold bulletins for the church. And on Christmas day we volunteered again with Romero House, for their Service of Peace, hanging out with the refugee kids, and it was awesome.

And I got to tell you, by no means did the pain and grief disappear. It was and it is a times, still difficult. But my focus on the Light, on being purposefully aware of God’s loving embrace of me, and then allowing my community the opportunity to embrace me, and then turning around and embracing those around me, God’s Presence became very real, and it was like wearing a new pair of glasses. Everything seemed just a little bit clearer, my problem was put into a wider perspective.

It didn’t mean that I was suddenly cured of grief, and I continue to grieve and I know in the midst of my confusion, more shall be revealed.

But that’s the thing about Light. So often we are not given a blazing Sun that Illuminates Everything We Want to See. More often, when we are on dark, winding paths, and we do not know where it is taking us, the Light God’s presence provides is more like headlights, illuminating just enough for us to drive around just the next corner.

As Anne Lamott says in her book Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope, and Repair, “we are not served by getting away from the grubbiness of suffering.” She continues,  “we have to stand in the middle of the horror, at the foot of the cross [like Mary], and wait out another’s suffering where that person can see us….To be honest, that sucks. It’s the worst, even if you are the mother of God.”

Presence and solidarity with those who are suffering, without any cute platitudes like “God’s plan is perfect” — which only makes things worse — is hard, but it’s so essential and a good place to start.

But then what? Lamott continues:

Most of us have figured out that we have to do what’s in front of us and keep doing it. We clean up beaches after oil spills. We rebuild towns after hurricanes and tornados. We return calls and library books. We get people water. Some of us even pray. Every time we choose the good action or response, the decent, the valuable, it builds, incrementally, to renewal, resurrection, the place of newness, freedom, justice. The equation is: life, death, resurrection, hope. The horror is real, and so you make casseroles for your neighbour, organize an overseas clothing drive, and do your laundry…we live stitch by stitch, when we’re lucky.”

And I’m reminded of the words of the iconic Canadian poet Leonard Cohen, “Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

And so, I encourage today friends, if you, or someone you know are in a place of shock, grief, confusion, sadness, or darkness, remember that “The Lord has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”

Let us take our cue from the Magi, who followed the Light, and found that it led them to the Light of the World, God With Us, the One who can–and will–bring a sustaining and life-giving embrace of warmth, love, and hope.

Amen.

I hate you because you remind me of Me

We are often angry at others for embodying specific qualities or behaviours that we do not like about ourselves.

This, at least, has been true for me.

I have burned with anger at students for not listening to me, for not doing their work, or for being chronically late.

I have been annoyed at others for being socially clueless or awkward.

I have been frustrated at my mother for asking “stupid questions” or not being more sensitive to how I need to be cared for.

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest and my all-time favourite spiritual teacher, has helped me immensely to figure out that one of the reasons I have gotten so frustrated at these people is because Continue reading ‘I hate you because you remind me of Me’

She Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost: A Feminist Relates to St. Mary Magdalene


I have hated my name for as long as I can remember. During the week I was born in January 1980, the name “Jennifer” was so popular (2nd only to “Jessica”) that there were like 6 other Jennifers born on the same floor.

My surprised mother had thought that it was an “old fashioned” name, despite it being ranked #1 for girls in North America the previous decade (to her credit there were no baby name books or online databases or even books back then). After she realized how common it was, she changed it to “Joy” – for a week. Which would have been so cool! I often daydream about how my life would have been gloriously different and serene if my name was unique and prophetic like Joy!

But alas, she said it just didn’t feel right, and after a week, changed it back to Jennifer.

The result was having a lot of other Jens, Jenns, Jennifers, Jennas and Jennys in every single class and friend group I had growing up. It was easy to get us confused, so teachers assigned each of us different versions of the name. Or, the worst, being called Jen G, because there was already a Jen T, Jen V, and Jen W. Even now, I have too many friends named Jen, and stories about who did or said what get confused often. My *brother* even married a Jen, which makes family gatherings quite delightful as you can imagine.

And then there was that time that I was mistaken for Jennifer *Lopez* in a remote Nepalese mountain village in 2004, just because news spread quickly that there was a Jennifer in town. Continue reading ‘She Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost: A Feminist Relates to St. Mary Magdalene’

Detox: My year in hell and back again

image

One year ago today, on my 35th birthday, I was in the midst of the deepest depression of my life. I felt bad for the two friends who took me out for lunch, I was too dazed and sad to care.

In the 4 months prior, I had lost my adoring boyfriend, my other most supportive friend, my community house, and access to meaningful work. And with it all, my sense of who I was.

With no safe place to live, no one in my entire Vancouver community had the capacity to house or support me the way I needed to be. I felt so alone. I felt abandoned.

The week between Christmas and New Years was spent in the Psychiatric Assessment Unit at Vancouver General Hospital. The anesthetized, white,empty walls and people numbed with drugs all around me made me feel Continue reading ‘Detox: My year in hell and back again’

Yes But And: How Not to Hate Yourself

Yes I can be aggressive

But for you they call that Assertiveness

Yes I get angry at injustice

But for you they call that Passion

Yes I often speak before thinking

But for you they call that Wit

Continue reading ‘Yes But And: How Not to Hate Yourself’

10 things to do after getting fired from your Intentional Christian Community house

1. Sob real ugly. Once you climb up the stairs after your mediated house meeting with your pastor, and are in your room, shut the door, crouch low to the floor, and let it all go. Sob those gaspy, choke-y type sobs, with your head in your hands, the way you do when you get dumped or someone on LOST finds redemption. Blame yourself, tell yourself you are the worst person in the whole world and nobody will ever love you or want to live with you ever again, especially because, in addition to this mess, you are underemployed, currently homeless and gasp still unmarried at 34 when your brother just had his 8th child. But be quiet about it –cry into your scarf, dammit– so they don’t gather further evidence of your over-emotiveness to purge you even quicker from their midst.

2. Allow your self to feel really bad, for like, 15 minutes. Mourn, grieve, lament– choose any spiritually sorrowful word that fits. Go outside, smoke a cigarette, and ponder the meaning of the beautiful, mocking sunset.

3. Pull yourself together. Suck it up and start packing. This is a good thing. This will be better for you. You had grown so much in the last year and a half and this atmosphere was weighing you DOWN. It kept reminding you of your old, cranky, ego-driven 32-year old self who you SO no longer are (well… you’re on your way).

4. Remember that blog you read like 2 weeks ago called “I AM A F***ING UNICORN: 10 things to do when you get fired for the first time” — and look into the mirror and Continue reading ’10 things to do after getting fired from your Intentional Christian Community house’


Follow Jen Galicinski on WordPress.com