In February of 2019, during one of the darkest seasons of my life, I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) and Complex Trauma, or c-PTSD.
This was crushing, but also validating and made sense of my entire life.
I thought my life and vocation was over at first after the diagnoses. But it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me.
I was able to get referred to a free Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills course at the University of Toronto Health and Wellness Centre. I hired a private DBT Therapist who helped me process the skills and kept me accountable for practicing them daily and tracking my moods.
I did a lot of reading and research. I learned that EUPD is developed over time as a response to Complex Trauma, or c-PTSD, which I was also diagnosed with.
Childhood abuse, bullying, and multiple bad breakups (with friends and partners) left me traumatized again and again and again.
But practicing the many DBT skills, and living with my very supportive parents, a 3 month extension on all my assignments, and working part-time at the most beautiful and heartwarming cafe, the Lazy Tulip Cafe, with the best staff and clientele EVER, lots of walks in the woods with Bailey, binging shows with vast emotional depth like The Politician, and doing regular Centering Prayer by a river, I slowly began to improve.
I was able to be more mindful and present with people in the moment. I learned Radical Acceptance. I learned distress tolerance and coping skills. I learned Interpersonal Effectiveness.
After 7 months of this intensive therapy, I am now very happy to say that I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for EUPD. My relationships have improved. I am more happy and calm and able to cope with difficult emotions and events.
Marsha Linehan, the creator of DBT saved my life. I thank God for her everyday.
If you or someone you know might have EUPD, share this with them. Change is possible, recovery is possible. Redemption and Healing is possible.
If I have ever hurt you with my unhealthy coping mechanisms before, I am sorry. Please DM me and let’s talk.
If healing and recovery and redemption happened for me, it can happen for you. No feeling is final.
The future can be bright.
Jen Galicinski 